I stopped dying my hair for the summer because it seemed a waste of money to pay to have my hair dyed red only to have the chlorine pools leach all the color out in just a week. I only dye it because I like being a red head verses being a dirty blonde (code for mousy dull light brown).  I just found out last night, while looking in the bathroom mirror, that two years of dying my hair red has hidden the fact that I now have dull mousy brown hair riddled with silver. YIKES!!

I'm only 35 1/2 but I guess with all the stress of the last 6 years it's not really all that surprising that the silver has taken root in my hair. I don't mind my hair showing my age, it's just hair after all. I'm just not ready to give up the red permanently yet. Like I said before, I don't dye my hair to cover the grey. I dye it because I like being a redhead. I guess when the day comes that I don't want to dye it anymore and I have so much silver that I get that dreaded "skunks tail" growing at my roots I'll just have to shave my head.

I wonder how I would look bald.....?


Shall the truth set you free??

I told a white lie to my kids about what happened to one of our cats. If you haven't read about it, you can HERE. Anyways, I promised myself I would tell the truth, or partly the truth, this coming week. I decided to just get it over with and tell them today.  I kinda told them the truth. I did tell them truth about her kidneys starting to go bad and that the humane thing to do was to have her euthanized. I did not tell them that I had her euthanized. I suppose that white lie was for me. I didn't want them to think I was a mean person for choosing to kill their cat. Yes I'm a coward.

I received a LOT of feed back about the initial white lie on what happened to the cat. All of it was great advice and points of view. It really made me think. Why did I lie about what happened to the cat? Was it for them.... me... or both?  And was it worth the guilt I felt about lying to them? I'd have to say, yes - yes - and Yes! I lied for them because with all the death they have had to deal with in the last 4-5 years I wanted to soften the blow to them.  I lied for me because I didn't have the heart to crush them like that. I mean how horrible is it to tell your kids, "Say bye to your kitty, I'm gonna go have her killed now."?  Having the cat sent to an animal shelter that helps sick animals get better and then adopted was much better. Also having the "doctors" at said shelter determining she was in too much pain and not able to be fixed was less of a blow. I also lied for me because I didn't want to be the bad guy yet again. It was bad enough I said she had to go because she wouldn't use the cat box. I didn't want to be the one to have her die too. (that's where the cowardice comes into play). Was it worth the guilt? You bet your ass it was! I won't hide death from my kids. Hell I don't have to. They know full well what death is all about first hand. Anything I can do to help soften the blow to my kids I will most certainly do. I have told them the truth about what happened to the cat, even if I did lie, again, about who decided it. Like one follower said, kids are resilient. They have bounced back as I had only hoped they would.

Overall I'm happy with the outcome of this whole episode. I generally don't lie to my kids about stuff. As a matter of fact, most of my friends & family think I'm a bit too honest with them. I feel that if I'm honest with them they have a better shot at living a more balanced life. No matter what it's about... boys, our bodies, morals... I feel that if I tell the blunt truth to the best of my knowledge they will have an advantage in life. They won't be guessing about it or wondering if what they heard in the locker room after gym class is true or not. If I can make them aware of how things are then they will be better able to make sound judgement calls. Like "How does the baby get out of her belly, Mommy?".  I told my then 4 year old the truth... " It comes out of the girls crotch." To which she replied with abject horror, "Oh My God! Yuck! I'm not doing that!". Now when it comes time to have the sex talk with her I will remind her that pregnancy can be a consequence of having sex no matter how much "protection" you use, and she will remember where that baby come out at and hopefully wait to have sex... If I feel they aren't old enough to know the answer to a question I just tell them that I will tell them when they need to know. Will my bluntness all work out the way I hope? Maybe, maybe not, only time will tell. I can only hope that my girls are comfortable enough to ask me anything and know that I will give them the most honest, unbiased, answer I can.

I don't believe in hiding life from kids, but if a white lie can soften the blow a little bit, to either them or me, you can bet your last dollar I will do it. My girls are the most important thing in my life. They have already dealt with enough in their short lives than any one person shouldn't have to endure. I do the best I can with the help of their father (who is an amazing dad by the way). I only hope it's enough. With all the positive feedback I get, it seems that we are doing okay with this whole parenting business. Thank you again to everyone who wrote in or commented on my confession.

So, does the truth set you free? Yes. That doesn't always mean you feel better. For better or worse though, you are free. No need to hide or keep up the lie. You can deal with the consequences and move on with your life in whatever way you need to.


Haiku Monday: Bayou

Lately it seems that there just isn't enough time to sit and let the words for a haiku flow. I read the theme and nothing comes to me, or I just can't find the time to get online and post. For whatever reason this week once I read the theme, Bayou, thoughts & feelings started swirling in my mind.... I could feel something inside churning to get out and be heard. I just had to make the time to post! It may not be my best and it may not be my worst, but here it is:

Steamy sultry mire,
Swirling mists lure you deeper.
Voodoo mans magic.

Photo courtesy of: Disney's The Princess & the Frog

The wonderfully talented & witty Rafa, from Ramblings From My Typer, is this weeks host. Be sure to pop on over and check out the competition. Good luck to all!



Twist the knife...

Earlier today I posted some confessions. One of them being how I lied to the girls about the cat being euthanized (I plan on telling them of her "passing" this next week). Anyways, we went out to dinner to a Chinese buffet tonight. This particular restaurant has a koi pond, at the reception area, where you can toss in a coin. The girls both toss their coins each visit and make their wishes. The last time we went, Kiera (the short midget, 8), wished that her sister Maggie Alice "could be here with us For Real to play with, not be an angel."  OH MY GOD!! Break my heart all over again why don't cha!!  I had a heart to heart with her and basically told her to try to be happy that her sister is in heaven where she no longer has health issues and to try to wish for something that may be possible, like a new doll or a trip to the movies this weekend. I was hoping that our little chat worked. Well it did, but it didn't.... She told me tonight that her wish was that "Bonnie (our cat who was just euthanized who she temporarily thinks is at a shelter to get better & then adopted) wasn't sick anymore even though she can't come home because she won't use the litter box anymore."  DEAR SWEET MARY, MOTHER OF JESUS!! Twist the knife a little more in my guilt for lying to the kids about what happened to the cat!! FFS! I can't seem to get a break these days! Oh well, such is life. Right? Hopefully things won't be too bad and having a pool will help distract the girls once I tell them that their cat has passed on to Heaven... Maybe I should have tossed in a coin and made a wish....


Confession Time

Some are sins, 
Some are not. 
Things I want to share,
Things I need to just let go of.
Silly things,
Serious things.
All are things on my mind.


I too have fallen victim to Candy Crush Saga.
For the past week I have worked harder on my tan then I have cleaning my house.
I'm addicted to Coca Cola in glass bottles. I only allow myself 1 maybe two per day.
I've fallen into the habit of eating cereal in the evenings.... so bad for me, but so damn delicious!
I have a crush on my husband. I will always love the Sailor. I don't always have like him though. Having said that, lately I've been crushing on him big time. I'm talking junior high sneaking a peek blushing kinda crush. 
I love having Adult Swim after sunset... *giggles*
I lied to my kids about our cat and even though I feel horrible about it, I feel it was necessary. With all the death they have experienced in the last four years, including the recent passing of my Aunt, I felt the need to cushion the blow of having our cat euthanized. Our cat Bonnie had been sick with a urinary infection that medicine was not fixing. Turns out it was her kidneys going bad. After discussing all of her options with the Vet it was decided that euthanasia was the most humane option. The humane society was willing to take her back if we could get her infection free. You see, she had to leave our home whether she was healthy or not. When the infection started she started peeing everywhere except the cat box. I'm told this is common behavior for felines with urinary infections. The problem did not stop and was becoming worse. We were forced to cage her, in the large dog cage we owned, in order to protect our home from being ruined with urine. Even if we could have gotten her infection free the Vet admitted that no one would adopt a cat who wouldn't use a cat box and would be required to eat a specially prescribed food & medicine for the rest of her life, which also meant she couldn't be a barn cat. Releasing her to the wild was not an option due to her medical difficulties. It would have been cruel.  In not wanting to crush my girls completely I told them that Bonnie would be going to a shelter that helps sick animals get better and adopt them out. I plan to tell them next week that she didn't get better and that she died.  I don't want to hide death from them. Death is a part of life. If anyone knows that, my girls do. That doesn't mean that I can't try to soften the blow a little. I feel that by waiting to tell them it won't be as traumatic for them as telling them "Okay girls, say goodbye to Bonnie so I can go kill her."  I feel by having her die away from home, rather than telling them the truth on how she died, it will be easier for them to process her death. 


Good Bye Bonnie. May you be at peace my sweet tubby.


Penny Thoughts

I know that I don't post much anymore. Mainly it's because I don't use my laptop very often. With smart phones being so capable of so many things my laptop has taken a backseat to my technology needs. Don't get me wrong, I still need my laptop and plan to continue to use it for this blog. Blogging more than a quick thought or a photo is entirely too complicated on a smart phone. I want to still keep in touch with the blogging world but just don't have the drive to do a full on post everyday. So I started a secondary blog connected to Monkeys & Windex. It's called Penny Thoughts. Basically it's my thoughts throughout the day. A photo of what's on my mind at the moment. I came up with the name because I had a thought about when someone is daydreaming and is asked "A penny for your thoughts".  Some thoughts are so random that they really have no purpose, others are "Ah-Ha" moments. All posts on Penny Thoughts are published from my phone with a quick email. I know I could send them to M&W just as easily but I really felt that my random thoughts deserved their own page. Sometimes you will see repeat posts between M&W and Penny Thoughts because I feel they need to be shared with everyone possible. Or because I may have a random thought I publish on Penny Thoughts while on the go and want to expand on it later though M&W. 

There are a couple of different ways to get to Penny Thoughts:

  • You could always type in the url.   pennythoughts2013.blogspot.com
  • You can click on the beautiful Gerbera daisy photo on the top right of my sidebar. The photo links to Penny Thoughts. (note* the side bar is only visible in the web version of the blog, not on mobile)
  • You can click on the link at the top of the page, just under the blog title, labeled Penny Thoughts. (note* this menu is also visible on mobile. you have to click on the drop menu just under the blog title when viewing on your phone.)
One more thing about the Penny Thoughts blog. The Friend Connect widget is no longer available to newly created blogs. Personally I think this is the dumbest move Google has made with the take over of blogger. Anyways, even though you can't follow with the friend connect any longer you can still follow by email and other blog readers. At the bottom of the blog page there are the widgets for following. Maybe if you already have a blogger account you can follow Penny Thoughts by manually adding the url. Not sure if it's possible, but if you try it and figure it out please let me know so I can pass along this information.

Now I'm off to do whatever my fancy desires... which is code for doing housework.... LOL

Enjoy the day & smile!


P.S. Don't forget to let me know what you think of Penny Thoughts!!

Play time?

Finally our new driveway is about to get started. It is being put in on the opposite side of the property as the current drive. It will also include prep work for a pole barn and an extra wide approach for said pole barn. The reason for it being on the other side of the yard is that eventually we will be putting a garage onto the house and that side of the house currently has no road access. First before the garage will come the pole barn. Most likely next year. We also plan to connect the two driveways making it a huge horseshoe shaped drive.

Today the contractor dropped off the small dozer for stripping the sod. I've been staring at it all day with a longing to just "play"! LOL

Happy Monday! I hope the week treats you all well.