So proud of my Kiera today. She completed her first 5K color run. In her words, #awesome
"Breathless, my head ringing, I could only gape. I'm not going to say it was love at first sight. No, it was more like oh, hell-yes-please, I'll have that. With a helping of right-the-fuck-now on the side."
Excerpt From: Callihan, Kristen. "The Hook Up."
1. discourteous or impolite, especially in a deliberate way: a rude reply.
2. without culture, learning, or refinement: rude, illiterate peasants.
3. rough in manners or behavior; unmannerly; uncouth.
4. rough, harsh, or ungentle: rude hands.
5. roughly wrought, built, or formed; of a crude construction or kind: a rude cottage.
6. not properly or fully developed; raw; unevolved: a rude first stage of development.
7. harsh to the ear: rude sounds.
8. without artistic elegance; of a primitive simplicity: a rude design.
9. violent or tempestuous, as the waves.
10.robust, sturdy, or vigorous: rude strength.
11. approximate or tentative: a rude first calculation of costs.
I might be many things, but rude is not one of them. At least I try my best to never be rude. It happens once and a while, hell, I’m only human. If I am rude I apologize as soon as I realize it. I feel bad about it and I worry that the person I was rude to (or anyone within hearing distance) will think me a horrid person. Who want’s that? For the most part I don’t really care what people think of me. I am who I am. However I don’t want people to think I have no manners or any kind of class about me. I may not be high class but I do have some class, at least enough not to be rude to someone.
Sometimes people perceive rudeness when rudeness wasn’t really present. Texting and social media are full of miscommunications when dealing with emotions. Why? It’s because emotion does not always transmit through the written word. While reading a book the scene is set, the mood of the moment has been set, therefore a small line of dialog does transmit emotion. However, when texting or commenting on a social media status the emotion your feeling as you comment does not always transmit properly. Usually it’s the person reading it that determines the emotion, or tone of the comment. If the person is not in a good mood the emotion, or tone, of the comment is generally not very good. If they are in a good mindset the tone tends to be of a better, nicer, quality. It’s just basic psychology of the mind and how everyone sees the same things differently.
Usually when someone writes something on a social media post of mine that seems a bit rude to me, I try to think of who said it. I try to think of this persons personality and try imagine how the comment would have sounded had it been said aloud to me face to face. Most of the time it helps me to realize it was just poor wording that need that little bit human emotion, or tone, to make it not sound rude. Having said that, sometimes there are comments that no matter how you imagine them, or who you imagine saying them, they are a rude comment. Sometimes a comment is just plain and simply rude. It doesn’t matter how you say it, or write it, it’s RUDE.
Normally, someone being rude to me doesn’t bother me much. In my mind I’m all, “HOW RUDE!”, and then I let it go. It happens. People err, we are after all only human. I don’t call them out on the rude comment because then I’m just being rude myself. I don’t want that!! Sometimes the rude comment, the one that can’t be anything but rude, hurts. Sometimes the person it comes from is what makes it hurt just that little bit more.
I’ve had a lot of rude things said to me over the years and only a couple of them have stuck with me. Mostly because who made the comment. Until recently, it’s been quite a while since one of those comments stuck with me. This comment wasn’t anything serious, or even important, really. It was just rude. Taking into consideration the person who made the comment is probably what makes it bother me so much. They generally aren’t a rude person, but it's not the first time they've been rude to me over the years. For them to just be blatantly rude to me kind of bothers me. Who am I kidding? It bothers the crap out of me. It’s not the first time I’ve felt slighted by this person, and because of who they are I’ve always just let it go and moved on. This time I don’t think I can let it go. It’s not the rude comment I can’t let go of. It’s the fact that it probably won’t be the last time it happens with this person.
In my post about burning bridges, I mentioned how sometimes we have to take a path we don’t want to, but we know we need to. I think I’m at one of those moments. Not a burning of the bridge moment, more of a fork in the road moment. I can go back and take the other fork if I so choose to. Small rude comments or slights against me add up with time when it’s from the same person. I don’t like feeling this hurt, small as it is. I’m not going to go out of my way for this person anymore. I’m not cutting them out of my life. Rude comments and feeling slighted by this person multiple times aside, I still love them and wish them well. I just can’t justify making time for them anymore. If I see them, I see them. If I don’t, I don’t. I’m setting them on the outside of my happiness bubble.
Moral of the story people, don’t be rude. It’s not nice, and if repeatedly done it makes you look bad. Think before you speak, and especially before you hit the post button. Read what you wrote and ask yourself how you would take it if you were the recipient of this comment.
Okay, rant over. Thank you for sticking with me if you read this all the way through.
Tags→ my mind
"May the bridges you burn lighten your way, and the whisky you drink warm your bones"
Growing up I was always told, "Don't burn your bridges, you never know when you might need to cross the river again.". While sage advice, I have to say that there are some bridges that need to be burned. Burning bridges isn't something to be taken lightly, but sometimes it's the only thing left to do.
Taking the fist step onto a bridge is not always easy. Some bridges we cross with ease, sometimes not realizing until much later, if ever, that we have even crossed one. Some are exciting and crossed with exuberance, while others are dreaded and fretted about yet necessary.
The ones that are the scariest are the ones that pop up suddenly. Appearing and seeming higher and longer than the rest. And no matter how long we look for another way across, this bridge is the only way to proceed forward. To not cross would mean that you are stuck somewhere you don't particularly care to be. Somewhere in which you cannot trust, where bonds have been broken. It's a cold and dark place that is swirling with pain and discourse. In order for you to proceed forward in your journey to a better place, you must cross this bridge. There is no other option. Once you cross this bridge, in order for the darkness to not reach you again, and cause you more pain, you must burn this bridge.
Knowing that burning this bridge is the only choice you have, doesn't make it easy. That doesn't mean that you don't have a heavy heart when you light that match, or when you turn your back to take the first step away. It's doesn't mean that you will instantly be free of the pain you incurred. It will take time to heal and time to process the fact that this path can no longer be traveled or revisited. A shard of sadness may always prick you when you think of the good times you had before you burned the bridge, but only momentarily. Your heart knows that this was for the better, and to move forward and be happy in this harsh world in which we live, it was necessary.
When I saw this photo it made perfect sense. That even though we have to burn a bridge here or there, we shouldn't stay and dwell over the ashes. We should use the light from this burning bridge to help light the way to our next place of happiness, to keep moving forward. Use the memory and pain of this burning bridge to help guide you in future adventures.
I suppose the whiskey is just a bonus!
Just like a mac truck to the face.
Today was Maggie Alice's Birthday!
She would have been 8 years old today. Wow! I seriously can't believe that it's been 8 years! I know that I don't post much these days, at all really. It's been 5 months or so since my last posting. For that I do apologize. However, I will tell you that those 5 months have not been spent just hanging out at home, or shopping with my friends, like the last couple of my 10 years as a stay at home mom were spent.
Towards the end of the last school year I started working again. CRAZY! I know! I always knew I would get another job someday. I just never really thought much about it. Then one day my friend needed help at the store she manages. That's how I started working one day a week. Not bad of an entry back into the work force. Then the next month it was 2 days a week. Then 3, and now it's 4 days a week! (Just so you know, I got bamboozled into the 3rd & 4th days.) I'm seriously fighting a 5th day! I'm just not ready to give up my Fridays!
With work taking up so much of my week now I find it hard to find the time to do everything. Just getting dinner on the table at a decent hour is oftentimes a challenge. Thanks to the Sailor the laundry doesn't get too out of control. The midgets help too. FYI the tall midget is taller than me now.... maybe I should re-dub her Sasquatch. Anyways it has now become a family effort to keep the house in running order.
On top of working 4 days a week and trying to run the household somewhat smoothly, I've just had a super busy month. Between camping, multiple birthdays, day trips out of state, appointments, side jobs and preparing for our annual party, Maggie's birthday almost snuck up on me without notice. Most days I have no concept of what day of the month it is. I realized on Monday what the actual date was.
I was doing well the last couple of days. A few melancholy moments here and there, but otherwise I was doing okay. I woke up this morning fully aware of what today was. I was doing great...... Until about half way to work. Out of no where my emotions mutinied against me. They hit me like a mac truck. SMACK! Right in the damn face. There I was driving to work, jamming out to the radio and all of the sudden I burst into tears! WTF! Seriously, I was fine, I blinked, and then it was Armageddon on my face. Total destruction. It lasted for less than a mile and then it was just over. Almost like someone flipped a switch. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not been on my way to work, and had I not just spent 10 minutes putting my face on!!!!!! Gah!! Thankfully I had napkins and a few minutes to refresh myself before I actually had to be face to face with someone.
The rest of the day was okay I suppose. I kept forgetting things and almost drenched myself washing the mop at work. It wasn't until after I got home just in time to send the Sailor off to work that I got really sad. I felt bad that he had to go into work and sad that I had to be home without him. It sucks. Plain and simple. What do you do though? Nothing really. I tried to focus on the girls and that helped for a bit. Then I was messaging with a friend. Our conversation helped me to not focus on the sad parts about today.. I thank you very much my friend.
Now I'm finishing this post, which I started much earlier today. Even though I didn't do much physically today I am completely exhausted. That being said I'm going to bed and hopefully these damn Mac truck drivers steer clear of me for a while.
Love & Huggs