2/3/16

May the bridges you burn lighten your way...



 "May the bridges you burn lighten your way, and the whisky you drink warm your bones"


Growing up I was always told, "Don't burn your bridges, you never know when you might need to cross the river again.". While sage advice, I have to say that there are some bridges that need to be burned. Burning bridges isn't something to be taken lightly, but sometimes it's the only thing left to do. 

Taking the fist step onto a bridge is not always easy. Some bridges we cross with ease, sometimes not realizing until much later, if ever, that we have even crossed one. Some are exciting and crossed with exuberance, while others are dreaded and fretted about yet necessary.

The ones that are the scariest are the ones that pop up suddenly. Appearing and seeming higher and longer than the rest. And no matter how long we look for another way across, this bridge is the only way to proceed forward. To not cross would mean that you are stuck somewhere you don't particularly care to be. Somewhere in which you cannot trust, where bonds have been broken. It's a cold and dark place that is swirling with pain and discourse. In order for you to proceed forward in your journey to a better place, you must cross this bridge. There is no other option. Once you cross this bridge, in order for the darkness to not reach you again, and cause you more pain, you must burn this bridge.

Knowing that burning this bridge is the only choice you have, doesn't make it easy. That doesn't mean that you don't have a heavy heart when you light that match, or when you turn your back to take the first step away.  It's doesn't mean that you will instantly be free of the pain you incurred. It will take time to heal and time to process the fact that this path can no longer be traveled or revisited. A shard of sadness may always prick you when you think of the good times you had before you burned the bridge, but only momentarily. Your heart knows that this was for the better, and to move forward and be happy in this harsh world in which we live, it was necessary.

When I saw this photo it made perfect sense. That even though we have to burn a bridge here or there, we shouldn't stay and dwell over the ashes. We should use the light from this burning bridge to help light the way to our next place of happiness, to keep moving forward. Use the memory and pain of this burning bridge to help guide you in future adventures.

I suppose the whiskey is just a bonus!


XOXO
CoreyJo


















10/21/15

Like A Mac Truck!!

BAM!
Just like a mac truck to the face.

     Today was Maggie Alice's Birthday!

     She would have been 8 years old today. Wow! I seriously can't believe that it's been 8 years! I know that I don't post much these days, at all really. It's been 5 months or so since my last posting. For that I do apologize. However, I will tell you that those 5 months have not been spent just hanging out at home, or shopping with my friends, like the last couple of my 10 years as a stay at home mom were spent.

     Towards the end of the last school year I started working again. CRAZY! I know! I always knew I would get another job someday. I just never really thought much about it. Then one day my friend needed help at the store she manages. That's how I started working one day a week. Not bad of an entry back into the work force. Then the next month it was 2 days a week. Then 3, and now it's 4 days a week! (Just so you know, I got bamboozled into the 3rd & 4th days.) I'm seriously fighting a 5th day!  I'm just not ready to give up my Fridays! 

     With work taking up so much of my week now I find it hard to find the time to do everything. Just getting dinner on the table at a decent hour is oftentimes a challenge. Thanks to the Sailor the laundry doesn't get too out of control. The midgets help too. FYI the tall midget is taller than me now.... maybe I should re-dub her Sasquatch. Anyways it has now become a family effort to keep the house in running order.

     On top of working 4 days a week and trying to run the household somewhat smoothly, I've just had a super busy month. Between camping, multiple birthdays, day trips out of state, appointments, side jobs and preparing for our annual party, Maggie's birthday almost snuck up on me without notice. Most days I have no concept of what day of the month it is. I realized on Monday what the actual date was.

     I was doing well the last couple of days. A few melancholy moments here and there, but otherwise I was doing okay.  I woke up this morning fully aware of what today was. I was doing great...... Until about half way to work. Out of no where my emotions mutinied against me. They hit me like a mac truck. SMACK! Right in the damn face. There I was driving to work, jamming out to the radio and all of the sudden I burst into tears! WTF! Seriously, I was fine, I blinked, and then it was Armageddon on my face. Total destruction. It lasted for less than a mile and then it was just over. Almost like someone flipped a switch.  It wouldn't have been so bad had I not been on my way to work, and had I not just spent 10 minutes putting my face on!!!!!! Gah!! Thankfully I had napkins and a few minutes to refresh myself before I actually had to be face to face with someone.

     The rest of the day was okay I suppose. I kept forgetting things and almost drenched myself washing the mop at work. It wasn't until after I got home just in time to send the Sailor off to work that I got really sad. I felt bad that he had to go into work and sad that I had to be home without him. It sucks. Plain and simple. What do you do though? Nothing really. I tried to focus on the girls and that helped for a bit. Then I was messaging with a friend. Our conversation helped me to not focus on the sad parts about today.. I thank you very much my friend.

     Now I'm finishing this post, which I started much earlier today. Even though I didn't do much physically today I am completely exhausted.  That being said I'm going to bed and hopefully these damn Mac truck drivers steer clear of me for a while.

Love & Huggs
CJ

5/14/15

Seeing my Sailor Man down town brought a smile to my face! ❤️