Would you?...

 Recently I did a post titled Tag, where I told a bunch of random facts about myself, answered some questions, and asked some of my own. I'd like to thank all of you who participated either in the comments, with a blog post of your own, or via email.  Mostly though I'd like to ask all of you a question that was asked to me at the end of Rafa's reply. It truly is a great question and one that may not be easy for everyone, including myself, to answer.

Rafa asked:
     "If you could go to a place that you never hurt, cried nor never felt fear, would you go? If yes, why and where, in your mind's eye would you find this place? If no, why?"

See? I told you it was a great question. Well for me the answer would have to be No. No I wouldn't go where I never hurt, cried, or felt fear because then that would mean that everything I have experienced in my life would be null and void. I wouldn't have felt the pain I needed to feel in order to know that I was still alive during those times I thought all was lost and this was the end. I wouldn't have felt the fear of rejection from the cute boy who sat beside me in math class. To not feel that fear would mean that I also wouldn't have felt the feeling of being special when he smiled at me. If I never cried that means the there would have been no tears of joy when I married my husband, or when I gave birth to my three beautiful children.  If there were no tears of sadness and no pain from the passing of Margaret Alice how would I have ever known the true extent of the love I have for her? If I didn't feel the pain from the void she's left in my life how would I know the joy that she left behind? If I didn't have the fear of losing my other children too how would I know that I even cared. To not feel pain, or fear is to not feel at all. For with out the lowest of lows how can you feel the highest of highs? How can you be happy if you can't feel sad? How can you feel good if you don't know what the pain feels like. How can you cherish love if you don't ever fear losing it or not having it all?  I would willingly feel all of the pain and sorrow & fears from my life over and over again if it meant that I could also feel all of the joys, happiness, and love over and over again too.  If something is a given it isn't as special as something that was a long shot or near impossible.If the not so good stuff doesn't matter then the good stuff is just stuff. It's not good, it's not bad, it's nothing. I would rather feel everything than feel nothing.

Whew! Who knew I had all that to say about one question?  I hope that all of you take a moment and think about what your answer would be and share it with us here or with me through email. Even if you don't share your answer I think that answering this question to at least yourself is a good idea. Figuring out your answer really does make you look at yourself on a different level than you're used to doing day in and day out. It can help you maybe know yourself a little bit better.

Thank you to Rafa for asking this amazing question. You can give a show of thanks too by going to visit his blog, Ramblings From My Typer, and checking out all of his amazing poems and writings. Don't forget to leave a comment letting him know what you think.

Well that's all for me today. I think two posts in one day is plenty. I'm leaving you with a photo of the sunrise here this morning...finally at a high temperature of 77° Winter is leaving us behind...Hello Spring :)

Love Huggs

***Post Edit

For a better explanation of what the question is referring to please read Rafa's comment below.  : )


  1. wow that was a great question has me thinking now "runs and grabs note book"


  2. CoreyJo:
    As much as I love your answer and agree with you if, in fact, I said you had to go to this place "forever". The reality is that everyone needs a safe place to go and not hurt, to not feel pain, to HEAL.

    I used to think I had to muster through, be a MAN; the hurt somehow making me stronger. To feel pain was the only way to feel JOY.

    This philosophy almost killed me.

    Hate built more hate to where I couldn't see the love of family and friends. (real friends that loved me no matter who or what I was nor took advantage of me at a vulnerable point in my life). The hurt so high, it was either drugs to deaden it all or deny, deny DENY!

    So, to answer my own question, not only would I go, but I DO GO. Not as often now as at first, but I've created my own special place of nothing where I don't hurt, I don't cry, nor do I fear. You're right, there's no joy, either, just a quiet place to take an honest stock.

    The good and bad of life takes it's toll. Just like an exercise routine, you gotta take time away to re-coup and re-build. A weary body is easily defeated. When you're feeling down is when you most need to garner your strength, not push through in hopes to persevere.

    In all the crazy turbulence that is buzzing around you right now, I can only hope and pray you find the strength to shut it all out, find a quiet within yourself and HEAL!

    Those that love you, and there are many, will always love you. Feel the sorrow of your loss and the joy of love when you're rested and strong.

    I just finished one of my quiet moments, and I am better for the process!!!

    Uber SMILES--


    1. Rafa,

      Why is it I always seem to miss the point of your words. In my defense no you didn't say forever, but you also didn't specify temporary either. I suppose it all just depends on how you hear the question when you read it, kind of like what you see when you look at a painting.

      To answer your question for temporary, Yes I'd go. Where would it be? I'll let you know if I ever find it. Hell I don't know. Maybe I spend my days there in that quiet place. When I'm home alone, which is Monday-Friday, 7am-3:45pm, I don't watch t.v., I don't listen to the radio, I don't talk on the phone, and for the most part the animals are very quiet. When Jason is home each day, like he is now, I feel out of balance... Whether or not any of this time alone is beneficial in the way you speak of I do not know. I just know that I get a little edgy when I don't get quiet during the day. That kind of explains why summer break seems so hectic to me.

      I'm not sure I know how to heal. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen, just that I don't know how it happens. I do know that it's a slow ass process that could hurry the fuck up sometimes... The drugs didn't work when I tried and most of the time it was impossible to deny. Now I don't have the option of drugs even if I wanted them and yet again there is no denying. So I guess whether I want to or not I have to muster up and push through. If I didn't my whole world would crumble around me. Being the glue that holds it all together is a privilege I cherish, but sometimes it just plain out sucks donkey balls. I'm sorry to say, Rafa, but sometimes there is no quiet place to regroup and gain back your balance.

      Look, now I've gone and got all snippy with you and that wasn't my intention. I'm just trying to say that for now I will suck it up and be a man. When it is all said and done and a little time has gone by, then I will be able to figure out how to find my balance again. Until then keep sending your magical smiles that keep me going, and I promise to keep up my hunt for that elusive treasure map that will lead me to Peace Island.


  3. CoreyJo:
    You gotta know by now, I just love f'n with ya'; RIGHT?!?!? (pretty huge considering you're a girl and all). Plus, gotta see if you're pay'n ATTENTION!! HaHa!

    On a serious note, it's not just being quiet, you have to consciously "lay hands" on your hurt (the inside stuff) and, first, spiritually heal yourself and move outward from there.

    Everyone has their way, only you truly know where the source of your hurt is and, ultimately, how to heal it. First comes self realization that it hurts for a reason. Second, is to let the hurt be your guide.

    Don't worry about being "snippy", I could snip the panties of Sasquatch if the mood set me in that direction.

    Blessings and HOPE--


    1. Rafa,

      Trust me, I of all people, know how you love to mess with me!! I also know how snippy you can get, so turn about if fair play I guess ;)

      Oh, I know the source of my hurt and have painfully faced it time and again only to be sucker punched just as I was getting a handle on things. It seems a never ending circle (hmm..where were these thoughts during haiku last week?).

      It's the healing part I either don't get a chance to get to or I just don't know HOW to heal myself mentally & spiritually. It's not like a cut you cleanse, administer antibiotics, and bandage. It's not always as easily done as it is said. But I try, I honestly do try.


      p.s. I was paying attention, you know I stalk your silly gay ass for any little tid-bit ;P

  4. My answer also would have to be no, just beacause that's life. Even though at times life can suck, I like to experience all the emotions. And feelings. Thats a great question.

    1. Hi Doll!!

      He is good with his questions isn't he. Sometimes I have to ask for clarification before I even know what he's asking.

      Yes life sucks sometimes, just ask me, I KNOW!! LOL It's great to have you back, even if it's only for a little bit before the next adventure :)


  5. GOD! I'll need to write a three hundred pages essay to answer this question!

    Life is often compared to a river. Some simply follow the flow, others rows against it, each and everyone blaming the other for all the mess in the river. A mere few decide to swim to the bank and get out of the river. They find out that they are not at the mercy of the circumstances unless they believe they are.

    But yet, they are not sure. They feel a little uncomfortable on the bank. They feel guilty. Guilty of abandonning they brothers and sisters still caught in the whirpool of life. They would like so much to help them and tell them that all they have to do is to get out of the river. So they dive back into the river and try to convince them to there is a way out. But no one listen. They are being laughed at, put down and even beaten sometimes.

    So those who dove back into the river, get out of it again. And they stay there on the bank waiting just in case... Sometimes, there's another one who want to get out, so they help him/her. That'a all they can do.

    We are not our emotions. We are not our feelings. They are only the offsprings of our beliefs, beliefs that were instilled into us by our family/clan/tribe, society, school, religion, etc...

    We can choose which emotions we wish to experiment by understanding which beliefs carry them out. It a little bit like a huge buffet from which you choose your favorite dish. Let say there is lobster and chicken on the table. You don't like lobster but you like chicken. Now, you would never say that if you want to experiment fully the taste of chicken, you need absolutely to eat the lobster, would you? You don't need to experiment pain to experiment joy!

    We should always follow our emotions, they will lead us to our beliefs. And we built our belief with our imagination. It is strange to see how people easily imagine all kinds of tragic scenarios and try to figure out what they would do if dramatic event happens to them. We spent most of our time doing this.

    But if, for exemple, I tell people that all they have to do is change their beliefs and think about wouderful things, they say I'm not being realistic. They say it is too good to be true. But thinking about tragedies that has yet to happen, is this more realistic??? They never say in this case that it is "too bad" to be true!!!

    If we think about about the worst, talk about the worst, imagine the worst, than the worst will come sooner or later. I remember reading somewhere: "That what you fear the most, will meet you halfway".

    That's roughly what I've been writing about in the past few month. Of course, I've sumarised it quite a lot, so it might sounds rather simplistic to many of you. But this is not the place to elaborate and I think I've overstayed my welcome already.

    YES! There is a Peace Island. Get out of the river. It'll take a while but it is possible for anyone. This is NOT magic (Please people, throw Harry Potter in the trash can!). We know so little of what our world is made of. Scientists think we have discover everything but we have scratched only the surface of reality. IN fact, real scientists know this very well.

    All the answers to our problems are right here before us! They were given to us many times by many men and women throughout history. But we have to dig deep into our beliefs to finds those answers.

  6. OK! I'm done now. I have to cut my comment in two parts cause I can't post more than 4 thousand and something caracters! DUH!

    Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and the sailor. You know that I've been where you are many times in my life and that I fully understand what you both are going through. I wish I could say something that could make it easier on you, but I'm clueless on that subject.

    I may sounds stupid but this event is called into your life because you need to chalenge yourself. In some kind of mysterious way, you've chose this event because you need to experiment something. As to what this experiment is, only you can tell. And it is the same thing for Father-in-Law. Like I wrote you in an email, he is living his own programme. We don't know why and maybe he doesn't know himself.

    Just keep in mind that life is much more than the ability of a body to breathe and a heart to beat. We are much more than we think we are. We are much more than just our physical body.


    I love you, ma petite soeur!
    Biisou et câlin

    1. Oh Jon I so love your comments no matter how long they are. However I will get back to in an email on most of what you've said. For now I'll just say that I agree with you for the most part and Thank you so very much for always being there when I need you.

      Je t'aime, mon grand frére!
      Bisous et câlins


Feed back is one of the best parts of blogging. Please feel free to leave a message and let me know what you think.