Who would a thunk it??!

Seems I've been given an Award and tagged to play a little Q & A.  Yay!! The wonderful Becca from Everyday Life has chosen me as one of her eleven. Thank you Hon!!


Here are the rules:

Each person must post 11 things about themselves.
Answer the 11 questions the person giving the award has set for you.
Create 11 questions for the people you will be giving the award to.
Choose 11 people to award and send them a link to your post. Go to their page and tell them.
No tag backs.

11 Things about me:

~I'm addicted to taking photos with my phone.

~I'm sporadic at best when it comes to blog posts.

~I am the BIGGEST procrastinator you will ever meet.

~If I could live on a deserted Island with a shelter & unlimited sources of food I would be hard pressed to try to find a way home. I'd always be nekkid and spend my days swimming & sunning.

~I have been on the hunt for the perfect pillow for over 12 years, ever since my pillows didn't make the move to California successfully when I got married :(

~This summer I got caught by my neighbor, Earl, sunbathing topless on my back deck... more than once.

~My 7 year old told me my hugs are the best because I'm all "squishy like" and surprisingly it doesn't bother me....much.

~My dog has been my main source of entertainment for the last 10 months.

~I love techno music

~Even though I'm a stay at home mom/housewife, every year I try to convince the Sailor to let me hire a house keeper...

~I love to read, but I'm a sissy. I can only read scary books during the day...

My questions from Becca:

~What are you currently reading or would like to read?

     ~Flanked by Cat Johnson

~If you could have dinner with one person living or dead who would it be?

     ~My Maggie Alice of course.

~If you could go back in time to one day in your life which day would it be and why?

     ~I would go back to a couple of days before Maggie Alice died. The day all three girls and I were locked in the kitchen carving pumpkins for Halloween. Maggie was throwing the pumpkin guts around faster than I could fill the bowl. It was an amazing day all around.

~Long or Short hair?

     ~It doesn't really matter to me. I've had all. Currently I have very short hair. See Here or Here.

~Favorite cartoon as a kid?

     ~Smurfs

~Morning or night person?

     ~Definitely a night owl!

~If your life was a movie what would it be a comedy, drama, horror?

     ~A dramatic comedy with a few horror scenes tossed in here and there.

~If you found yourself pregnant at this moment would you want a boy or girl?

     ~I would hope for a boy only because I don't have one, but I would love & accept it whatever the sex.

~Hit shuffle on your iPod or if you don't own one turn on the radio and name the first song that plays?

     ~Forever by Medina

~If you were a singer and had to pick a duet partner who would it be and why?

     ~Bruno Mars. He's an amazing artist who has a proven talent for collaborations.

~Name the last movie you watched be it on TV or in the theater?

     ~Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

My 11 questions for you:

~What are your favorite shoes and why?

~What's the #1 website you buy stuff from and what is your favorite item?

~As you read this, what is the first memory you have from your childhood?

~If you had to enter the witness protection program and could choose your new name what would it be?

~If you could be or do anything in the world (career wise) what would you/it be and why?

~You receive an unexpected package in the mail. Who would you want it to be from, and what would you hope to be in it?

~What do you think your wardrobe says about your personality?

~If you could change one thing about the town you live in, or near, what would it be and why?

~If you and your closest friends (in real life or online) were a gang, what would be your Gang Name be, and what would your nickname in the gang be?

~At what age did you realize that "growing up" wasn't what you thought it would be?

~If you and I were to hang out what would we do & where?

So there you have it. Probably more than you wanted to know about me, but hey what ever!! Now I know I'm supposed to tag 11 people for this, but quite frankly I don't know 11 bloggers here well enough to tag. So here is what I am going to do. If you are reading this (I Love You) and you want to participate please snag the award (all of you deserve it), post it on your blog and follow the instructions. Please let me know if you do decide to play along, I would love to see what your answers are. Otherwise you can just answer the questions here in the comments, send me an email at coreyjo77@gmail.com if you'd like to not be public, or ignore the follow up all together. Either way thank you for stopping by and visiting me & my crazy blog.

Love ♥ Huggs

CoreyJo 

p.s. Who would I be if I didn't post at least one photo? :))


This first one is a photo collage of one of my mornings last week.

This is a photo collage of a my view as I drive the girls to school each day.

Poetry & Pictures...

Fairies dance among the 

tears of the moon

as the golden 

sun kisses the morning.

Mother Nature breathes a 

sigh of awakening

as Father Time lays to 

rest another day.

                  

                                                 ~CoreyJo

Natures kiss gleams bright

As fingers of gold caress

Luminous dew drops

                                                         

                                                            ~CoreyJo

Have a wonderful weekend!

Love ♥ Huggs

CoreyJo

Time Heals???

Last year when school started I experienced a short but still painful bout of depression. With the girls gone all day the aching void left behind with the loss of Maggie Alice hit me full force for about 2 weeks. Once I became used to the quiet again I slowly rose back above the water and was once again able to function without my emotions dragging my down at every other turn.

Thankfully this year I haven't yet experienced that depression. I think part of the reason is the girls are both becoming more independent. During the summer I wasn't required to be hands on 100% of the time. Therefore when they left for school the first day the quiet wasn't such a polar opposite of my daily life the way it was last year. Thus allowing me to get through my day without crashing into a pile of mush because I'm missing my Maggie Alice.

Does this mean that the old adage is true? Does time heal all wounds? Some people believe this is to be true, and for them maybe it is. For me though... not so much. It falls into the grey area of things in life. Pain, especially emotional pain, is not black and white, no two ways about it. There are so many different kinds, and levels, of emotional pain it's impossible to be simply black or white.

For example the emotional pain I have in regards to Maggie Alice started out black & white. It was complete devastation. My heart was obliterated. For two years I lived in a haze of pain, physical & emotional, just barely getting by and only functioning at the bare minimum required to care for the other two girls. Over the last year things have begun to change. I almost feel as if I were Rip Van-Winkle waking from a two year sleep. How did I get here? When did the girls grow up on me? Where the hell did this extra 20 pounds come from? Things finally started to look brighter. I didn't dread getting out of bed anymore. I was able to look to the future and see more than just an unending void of pain. I'm now able to enjoy the moment again without feeling guilty.

Is the pain gone? No. Will it ever be gone? No, not 100 percent, but it is more manageable. Time has done that for me. However my memories of her are bitter sweet, thus falling into the grey area between black & white. These days the first emotion I feel when thoughts of Maggie Alice cross my mind is pure and simple joy because that's exactly what she was. A pure soul that simply brought joy to everyone who knew her. Then I feel the loss, a dull ache that sometimes feels like a sharp knife to the heart. I either get sad for a few moments or I cry from the pain of missing her. When the moment subsides I can't help but to smile again. How can I not? She's a part of my heart.

So even though the pain is not gone, with time it has become manageable. So in my opinion, No, time does not heal all wounds. It lets us to come to terms with the situation and allows us to figure out a way to continue on with our lives in a more manageable way.

Love ♥ Huggs
CoreyJo

Haiku: Hungry

Hungry? Who's hungry? I'm hungry. Are you hungry? What are you hungry for? A kiss? A promotion? A cheese burger? Mashed potatoes & gravy? Mmmmmm.... gravy....

This weeks Haiku contest is being hosted by Grins at ANGER MANAGEMENT, with Hungry being the theme of choice. Here are my entries.

Cravings

Breads, pastas, potatoes...

Delicious yummieness, Mmmm..

All things I can't have.

                                                                 ~CoreyJo

Excitement

Books, pencils, paper,

New clothes & locker combo.

She's hungry to learn.

                                         ~CoreyJo 

*Note: this photo is 3 years old

I hope everyone pops on over to Anger Management and checks out the competition. Good luck everyone!!

Here are some current photos of the girls.

Have a wonderful first day of school girls!

Love ♥ Huggs

CoreyJo

Photography App...

As many of you know I love to take photos.  Ever since I upgraded my phone six months ago it's been a lot easier to capture the world around me. One thing I discovered on my phone was the amazing app Instagram. It's an amazing photo editing app where you can apply different filters to your photos if you choose to alter it to maximize it's potential, whether it's a photo you've just captured or one from your photo album. I can't tell you how much I LOVE this app. I thought today I'd share with you some of my favorites.

If you'd like to see more of my photos you can view them at Followgram, or you can click on the link on my side bar where it says My Instagram Photos just below my blog list.  I hope you enjoyed looking at my photos as much as I had taking them & sharing them with you.


Love ♥ Huggs
CoreyJo

Life Uncharted

This time of year is always hard for me. After having the girls 24/7 for three months I have to adjust to being alone for up to 9 hours a day. It's always a difficult adjustment for me because being alone during the day always brings home the fact that Maggie Alice is no longer with us. Each day I miss her more and more. Sometimes I just stare at the photo of her on our dresser and it all just seems so surreal. Both the before and the after. The time before her death seems surreal in the fact that sometimes it feels as if it was just a realistic dream or fantasy. The time since her death seems surreal because I'm living the life of a news story. When you hear about someone losing their child on the news you never think that someday it's going to be you. Yet here I am almost 3 years after her death still trying to come to terms with the fact that she's NOT here anymore. I'm not going to wake up from the horrid dream where I lose my baby girl. Sometimes I just look at her photo and think to myself, "WOW!! She's really gone." Other times I look at her photo and think, "WOW!! Her cheeks were FAT!".  Well they were!!  To be honest with you most of the time I pass by her photo, whether it the one the dresser or one on a wall, without even looking at it or thinking about it. I'm always aware of it being there, but suppose I feel that maybe if I don't acknowledge the photo the pain of losing her won't bother me as much today. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Lately it hasn't been working...

I've been thinking about Maggie Alice a lot lately. Not just the good times but the bad too. More specifically the day she died. Every single thing about the day, big or small. Be it the smell of the hospital, or the feel of her tiny hand in mine, the bright lights, or kissing her one last time telling her goodbye. The smells, sounds, and feelings, both emotional and the physical just keep replaying in my mind. I'm not sure why that day is the one my mind is focusing on but I feel as if there's a reason why. What that reason may be, I don't know. I don't try to figure things out anymore. I just roll with the punches hoping I come out the other side unscathed, or at the very least only slightly beat up.

Life has a way of working it self out if you just let it. I've learned to not over analyse every little thing. I'm sure  my brain will figure out why I keep reliving that fateful day sooner or later. Whether or not I realize it or not is another story.....

At least now at the end of the day I have a warm fuzzy feeling inside just from the thought of her, whether I laughed or cried, I can now feel not just the loss of her, but her love itself.

Mommy loves you Maggie Alice

Love ♥ Huggs
CoreyJo

p.s. Seriously, she really did have fat cheeks!!

Haiku: Grigio (grey)

Usually I only have one entry, but today I've two to offer up for judgement. Enjoy!!

First Entry

Grey skies embrace me.

As the mist kisses my skin

Rainbows shimmer bright.

                                                                                             ~CoreyJo

Second Entry

All the shades of grey

tell my story. Who am I?

Just call me Sybil..

                                   ~CoreyJo

This weeks contest is being hosted by none other than my darling himself, Rafa (yes, he won AGAIN!) over at Ramblings From My Typer. Pop on over and check out the competion, it's well worth your time. It's a tough crowd this week. Wish me luck!!

Love ♥ Huggs

CoreyJo

Haiku Fiery

Summertime

Luminous moonlight

Ocean waves caress the sand

Bonfire burns fiercely.

                                                        ~CoreyJo

This weeks Haiku contest is hosted by the fiery one herself, BlazingScarlet at Dantes 2nd Inferno. Come on out and see the competition and maybe, just maybe, enter one of your own.

Love ♥ Huggs

CoreyJo