"It had been nice to be so sure of myself. Now that I didn't have that compass anymore, I'd never felt so lost."

Truer words have never been written...

Change:

Verb (used without object);

1.    To become different.

2.    To become altered or modified.

3.    To become transformed or converted.

Noun;

4.    The act or fact of changing; fact of being changed.

5.    A variation or deviation.

Change. Life changes. People change. Circumstances change. Moods change. Ways of thinking change…..

So many things about life change, it’s inevitable. Most of the time we are not aware of the changes that occur in our day to day lives. Kids grow up, we get grey hairs (yes, these two things go hand in hand). The foods we like to eat, the activities we participate in. The way we do things changes with time, whether it’s from gaining knowledge or from just us changing as we grow physically and emotionally.

Without change life would become stagnate. Change in general is not always a bad thing. It can bring wonderful things with it. Joy and happiness come with change. As do pain and sadness sometimes.

Even though things and life around us are constantly changing we as humans tend to become secure in our lives. We do our daily tasks because that’s what needs to be done. We go to work or stay home and care for our families because that’s our roll in life. We go out with friends, take family vacations because that’s what we do for fun. Most of us in the world today live our lives from day to day and take comfort in our futures of our lives. Sure, we know the kids will grow up and leave the nest someday, but it’s not always on our minds. We know that we will eventually grow old and possibly feeble. We know that someday we will have to retire or change our careers to better fit our physical selves. It’s called life. It’s just how it is.

We take life’s changes with a grain of salt most of the time. Sometimes life’s changes are less like a grain of salt and more like an iceberg. You can’t just brush it off and move on. You can’t just pick yourself up and say, “Oh well.”, and then move on with the changes. Sometimes the changes that happen in your life sideline you. You’re so lost with what has happened in your life that you just don’t know where to go, what to do, let alone what to say. You don’t have that security in your future because you don’t know or understand how the future can possibly be in any way how you had always imagined it to be.

When life hits you with these iceberg sized changes that hurt you to the point of numbness you turn to your loved ones to help you through. To pick you up and point you in the right direction. Sometimes you don’t have that. You don’t have the support you thought you would have. You feel alone like you’ve never felt alone before. You’re scared because you just don’t know what to do.

When this happens, we must remember that there is always someone out there who can help us. Who can support us and help us to think straight again. Who will be our friend and tell us it’s okay to hurt, even if it feels like we are dying. Society, as a whole, are a lonely bunch of people and we need to remember that we are only alone if we allow ourselves to be alone.

Back to change. Everyone who knows me knows that I have had life hit me with a huge change that blessed me and devastated me. When I lost my daughter at the age of 2 I didn’t know how my life could go on (that’s the devastation part). When I began to heal from the loss of my daughter I began to realize how blessed I was. In the two years she was alive she was our family’s shining star. Once she was gone and the devastation of her loss began to move the background of my emotions (I say this because the devastation is always there, I have just learned how to move forward and function at life again) I realized how in those two short years I learned so much from my daughter. I learned what was important in life. I learned not to sweat the small stuff. I learned how to love unconditionally in a way I hadn’t quite grasped consciously with the first two daughters. I learned how to forgive and to move forward.

It took a while for our lives, as a family, to balance back out. I was able to live again. This horrible change in my life did not stop me permanently. I was able to overcome the grief and live again. I took this change and tried to learn from it. I tried to become a better person. Not only to others but to myself. As time went on I became secure in my life and my future again…..

Change. It’s something that is inevitable. It always happens. Again, I have been hit with a change in my life that has altered my future. A change that has floored me yet again. As I begin to process this change I have come to a few conclusions. I am not alone. I might feel extremely lonely at times, but I know I am not alone. I have my Peeps, and I must tell you, my Peeps are some of the best Peeps a woman could have. Another conclusion I have come to is that no matter how uncertain and scary my future may look right now, I know without a doubt that I will survive. Not only will I survive, I will thrive. With this change in my life I must believe in ME. If I don’t, there is no hope for a happy future. I must not doubt my self-worth. I may not always like myself, physically and or emotionally, but I know deep down that I am worth it. I deserve the best. I have given my everything to the life that I have led. Have I been perfect, no. I am only human. I must believe that this change in my life has happened for a reason. It may be a reason that I don’t quite understand yet, but a reason none the less.

Change happens, and we are powerless to stop it. However, we do have the power to move forward from change in any way we wish to. I am choosing to move forward in a positive way. I am choosing to use this change to grow as a woman. Instead of letting this change dictate the person I become afterward I am dictating how and who I am going to be after this change.

Change. Good or bad we can’t control it sometimes, but we can control how it changes us. Just remember that you always have peeps out there who love you and care about you. If you don’t think you have any peeps, just let me know. I’ll be your peep.

-Corey Canning