Rescued..

Dreams of yesterday

float through my

mind...

A life so precious

forever gone..

When all happiness

seemed lost...

My soul sinking

deeper and deeper..

Giggles & laughter

grace my ears

as life is renewed

and happiness

shines again.

~CoreyJo~

Pondering thoughts say what?

On days like today when everything is quiet and the sun is shining I sit and think about my life. About where I came from, my childhood. About the good times & the bad... I think about how my life is total opposite of what I had always imagined it to be yet now I couldn't imagine living life any other way than I am. That despite the fact that I'm not who I envisioned myself to be at almost 35, I'm completely happy with the path my life has taken.  I sit and think about all the people in my life, past & present. About how those people changed me, for the better or the not so better. What did they teach me? What did I take away from knowing them.. Have I changed them? What did them knowing me do for them, and was it positive?  I also think about the impact my online friends have had on me. I've never met them in person. I don't even know what some of them look like and it's been two years! I think about how I care for my on line friends just as dearly as I do my friends in real life. Does that make me crazy? Silly? or is it normal? Then again, what is normal, right? All I know is I do care, and dare I say Love, all my friends. On line or in real life, all my friends mean the world to me. It's just who I am I guess. I'm okay with that.

Ever since Maggie Alice died three years ago I often think about death and what would I be leaving behind should I die today? Well, that's not entirely true... I admit I've wondered about that all my life as far back as I can remembered. I've always wondered what would people remember the most about me? Would it be something good or something bad? How long would it be before people stopped thinking about me or bringing me up in conversations... you know, "Remember that one time we went to the fair and Corey....?". Those kinds of things. Would my children tell stories of their crazy mother to their own kids or grand-kids?  Again, it's just who I am, and I'm okay with that.

I think about my pets too. They are a crazy, annoying, loving bunch of odd balls just like the rest of us in this house. I think, are they happy? Do they know how good they have it? What would life be like for them if I hadn't decided to save them? What would it be like for me if I didn't have them. Daily life along with myself would be quite boring to tell the truth.... I very rarely turn on the tv or the radio anymore... even when I'm not on the internet. The silence has become a wonderful thing that I cherish whole heartily. I'm  not sure why, it just has. I'm okay with that too.

Those are the main things I think about during days like today. Sometimes these things make me sad, sometimes they don't. Sometimes I think of great ideas... once in a while I will try to execute said ideas, usually though I'm too lazy. I'm working on that, so I'm okay with that too. Of course all of these serious thoughts are periodically interrupted with silly thoughts as food, and why when I give my dog my $200 dollar ottoman for a bed and even give him his own pillow he chooses to lay like this?

I guess somethings will just go unanswered...

What do you think about when you're mind wanders. What sort of things go through your mind when you ponder your life? Think about it, and let me know. Haha! I really do crack myself up sometimes :)

Kisses
CoreyJo


p.s. I know some of you are thinking, you don't think about your kids and the Sailor?? Yes I do but that would take up a whole blog post it self so maybe another day I'll spill my mind about them.  :)

12 days past due!!

I can't believe I missed 12 days of what I'm thankful for! HOLY WOW! My only excuse is that sometimes I get in a funk. Depressions peeks it's ugly head in the door and says, "Hello my dear..."  It grips me tight sometimes and doesn't want to let go. Then something will happen that will snap me out of my funk. Shoving depression back through the door and slamming it shut once again. Sometimes it's something big and sometimes it's something small. This time it was something that I consider to be both. The sound of my kids laughter tinkling in the air is such a small simple thing, yet for me it's enormous. When you no longer have the ability to hear one of your children's laughter because they are gone forever the impact of your remaining children's laughter, or that of any child, becomes enormous. What most people take for granted each day I crave with an un-measurable passion. To hear my girls laughter, be it a bubbly giggle or belly rolling laughter, is a blessing I will forever cherish and strive to hear as much as possible. The right now is the only guarantee we have in life. You must grab it, enjoy it and cherish it while you can for we never know what tomorrow may bring us...

Today I'm thankful I get the joy of hearing my girls laugh. In such a short life they've lived there has been so much tragedy. Enough that some kids wouldn't be able to cope. Lucky for us our girls have survived the loss of their baby sister and their Grandfather, all within the last three years, with surprising ease. The fact that they are able to live life carefree and still laugh with and at each other and the world is a miracle on it's own. A miracle that I am thankful for. Life is hard, so hard most of the time. But if you stop and enjoy the good things about life, big or small, it doesn't seem so bad.

Now, since I am SO far behind on my daily thanks here are 11 things I've been thankful for in the past week and half...

1. Crock-pots... without one I would never be able to make pot roast...YUM!
2. DVR.... other wise I would never see any television... it's impossible to watch with 2 kids, 2 cats & a dog running around. With DVR I can wait until night when all is quiet and simply enjoy.
3. Flushing toilets... I know, TMI! But still, imagine life without it! now if I could just train the cats...
4. Washers & Dryers...I would never get to sleep if I had to wash laundry by hand.... that or everyone would wear the same damn thing all week!! (no jokes-- keep your pot shots to yourself. lol)
5. Coffee pots with timers.... Just set it up the night before and BAM! Caffeine when you wake up!
6. My kids memory... Sometimes I wish that my kids didn't have such a good memory... they always manage to trip me up with the truth... other times though, I'd not make it through the day if I didn't have them to remind me of stuff.
7. Unexpected company..... It was wonderful to have my Muffin come and keep me company while I was getting my hair done this past week. Muffin always makes me smile & laugh.. Thank you! ♥
8. My dog.... the moments we spend each morning, just the two of us, outside tossing & retrieving rocks in the driveway... He's always so eager to play and I swear I can see him smile while he waits for me to throw the next rock.
9. My cats.... not once in the last year since I adopted my cats have I had a mouse! I LOVE YOU!
10. Firemen... not only do they do a service to the community by saving lives at the risk of their own life, but help to support many communities through charities. Don't believe me?? Check out this charity

Quebec Firefighters Foundation
 for Major Burn Victims

     11. Receiving mail...usually receiving mail isn't so pleasant due to the amount of bills
           and/or junk mail we receive each day. However today I received a package from a very
           special friend. This package included not only the firemen's calendar you can buy from the
           aforementioned charity, but it included the cutest card ever!! I may have to frame it. Along
           with the card was a wonderful handwritten letter from my friend. It was the most wonderful
           thing evah!! It totally made my day and I still can't stop smiling! Thank you Jon-Jon ♥



So there, I'm all caught up on my daily thankfulness.. I hope I didn't bore you too much. I promise to try to keep up with the daily posts. Wish me luck! LOL

Kisses
CoreyJo

Oops! I missed a day!!

I missed a day in giving thanks so today there's two!

Day 7: I'm thankful for internet banking.
     I don't know what I'd do if I had to wait until the next month to get a statement so I could balance my accounts. How did Mom do it!? I suppose that if we didn't have atm's and bank cards to use it wouldn't be so hard. But since we do I don't think I would survive with out the the internet to constantly check my account!

Day 8: I'm thankful for smart well behaved kids.
     I'm so happy that my kids are smart. It makes parent teacher conferences so much easier. All A's and a couple of B's between the two girls. I asked Lily's teachers if there were any concerns and they all said "No, she's an absolute delight to have in class".  I'm just so grateful that my kids are smart and well behaved. I don't know what I'd do if they were hellions at home AND at school. I will gladly take their attitudes and shenanigans at home as long as they do well in school. So proud of you my Monkeys!!!

What are you thankful for today?

Kisses
CoreyJo

Daily Thanks: Day 6

Day 6: I'm Thankful for my right to vote.
     I'm thankful that I live in a country where I'm free to vote. Where I can help determine what happens around me. I'm thankful that I don't live in a country where I have no say in my life. I can pretty much do what I want, be what I want, go where I want, wear what I want, and pretty much say what I want. All without the fear of incarceration or worse, death. So thank you to our forefathers for fighting for my right to live free. Also thank you to all military personnel  past - present - & future, for ensuring that I retain those rights fought so hard for so long ago.

What are you thankful for today?

Kisses
CoreyJo

Daily Thanks: Day 5...

Day 5: I'm thank for the kindness of others.
     I'm thankful to our friends the Olivers for allowing us to borrow their truck while my car was in the shop so that we could have a vehicle that would legally transport all four of us. Also it was kinda hard for me to get into the Sailors truck. There is no sidestep to help and with an 8" lift I kinda need a bit of help, especially with a bad knee and a halfway jacked up foot. So thank you very much for your kindness, my knee and foot thank you very much. Trick or Treating was also much easier with one vehicle rather than two.

Here is Kiera (7) hanging from the Sailors truck if that helps you to see how big it is. (i think the tires are 35's).

This is the truck the Olivers let us borrow. Yes it practically as tall if not as tall as the Sailors, but it holds all of us and it has a sidestep to help me when getting in. Thanks again guys!!

Kisses
CoreyJo

Picture perfect morning...

As I lay in bed waking up I hear one of the girls pouring cereal into a bowl. Upon hearing this I suddenly remember that we were out of milk and I was supposed to pick some up on the way home from dinner last night. SHIT! I jump out of bed and tell the girls to get a move on it!! There wouldn't be enough time for me to get them to school and allow them to eat at the school, soooo McD's it was. With luck I was able to get Kiera to school on time, since she starts later than Lily. Lily was only 3 minutes late, and I think everyone even remembered to brush their teeth, I think... :/

As usual in my world if you are in a hurry then the universe is not going to be on my side. Today was no different. First when I walked out of the house this is the site that greeted me.

At a whopping 25 Degrees F the world was a frosty delight.

So of course the windows were frosted over and we had to wait for them to defrost because we don't have our scrapers out yet! (I forgot to take a photo of that).

Then the train was running, and for once I was first in line. They really should have those bars that come down to block traffic because this coal train was hauling serious ass..

After 130 cars the train finally passed and we were on our way. 

A block later and were finally there, waiting patiently for our breakfast.

And we have fresh from the fryer and the.... microwave (not sure how they make the McGriddles) our breakfast!

And our drinks too!

After I dropped the girls off I had to run some errands. What a day to forget my sunglasses!!

Finally about 9 am everything started to thaw out, but by then I was already cozied back up in my warm little house not willing to go outside and weather the cold to get more photos. Maybe tomorrow.

Kisses

CoreyJo

Daily Thanks, Day 4

Day 4: I am thankful for the little things.
     The extra hour of sleep this morning due to the daylight savings time change. The sunny day allowing my dog to play outside longer than usual. The tinkling of my girls laughter as they watch a movie. The midnight picnic the Sailor and I had last night in our room (which started with dessert: Vanilla Crèmesicle). All of the little things combined are what make the big things worth while.  Don't forget to appreciate the smallest of things. Besides what may be something little/small to you may in fact be very big for another. Nothing in this world is guaranteed so take what you can when you can and cherish it.

Kisses
CoreyJo