What's what...

2012 was one Hell of a year. I'm happy to be able to say that as sad and heartbreaking as the year started out it wasn't all bad. Here's a quick timeline (sort of) to catch you up in case you missed something.

January

• Bank account empty due to overspending and poor money management on our part. :-(
• Cold as Hell yet not enough snow for the girls to use their new snow sleds from Santa. :-(
• Watching the Sailor Senior slowly get worse from the cancer. :-(
• Hanging out with my brother & sister in-law during these sad time. It was so wonderful to have them here with us. :-)

February

• The Sailor turned 36 and I got to laugh at him when he realized that it really isn't all that old. :-)
• Still cold as Hell, and still not enough snow for sledding. Lucky for us in the Sailors oh so advanced age he has become genius. He used the snow blower to move all the snow in the back yard onto the slide so the midgets & their aunt K, who I technically call a midget too, could go sledding. :-)
• The Sailor Senior worsens and the Sailor takes leave from work to help with his fathers care. :-(
• My beloved sister in-law (the aforementioned Aunt K) turned 40!! Whoot! Whoot! She doesn't look 40 (cow!!) (you know I love you ♥ )).  :-)

March

• Still EFFING cold!! No more snow. :-(
• Just now recovering from end of year financial crisis. :-)
• Sailor Senior takes a turn for the worse. Brother in-Law is helping the Sailor take care of their dad. :-(
• The Sailor and I celebrated our 12th anniversary. :-)
• The short midget (Kiera) turned 7 on St. Patrick's Day. :-)
• Later that night (st.pats day) The Sailor Senior passed away to better place. :-(
• The tall midget (Lily) turned 11. :-)

April

• Warmer weather!  :-)
• Funeral Service for the SS  :-(
• Family drama blow up extraordinaire :-((

May

• Not much happened in May, I really can't think of anything that sticks out as special either good or bad. :-)

June

• End of school year :-)
• Started our home renovation. :-)
• Endured a stressful home renovation :-|
• Finished our home renovation. :-)
• Bank account is now empty again, if not negative. I really couldn't tell you. I try to block the really bad stuff out :-(
• Weather is HOT HOT HOT HOT and dry... Ugghhh!! :-(

July

• Just finished the renovation and left the same day for a week of camping... Most miserable week outdoors ever!!! :-(
• Came home from the worst camping trip ever to a wonderfully new and beautifully renovated home! :-)))
• Unpacked my house... mostly :-|
• Became sick and stayed sick for the rest of the month of July.

August

• Stayed sick the entire month of August also. :-(
• Still trying to unpack my house, mainly the kitchen. :-(
• Prepare for the new school year :-)
• Horrific accident involving family members (all who are well and doing fine now) :'(

September

• Midgets are back in school!!!!! :-))
• Bank account still empty... trying to recover from the renovation.. :-/
• Go to the doctor because I'm STILL sick!! Anti's helped but boy was I hurting.. :-(

October

• Weather finally cools off :-)
• Celebrate Maggie Alice's Birthday (she would have been 5 in 2012) with friends and family. A good day indeed. Very good :-))
• Same day I wrecked my car in a one on one car vs. deer on M43...
• Honored the third anniversary of Maggie Alice's death. Therapeutic and heartbreaking. :-|
• Halloween!! The girls were exactly what they wanted to be for the first time ever!! A Zebra dressed up as a clown, and a spider witch! :-))

November

• Got my car back all spiffy and new looking. :-)
• Didn't fully recover financially but we at least got all caught up. :-)
• Thanksgiving was a simple affair with just the four of us. :-)

December

• Had a sex toy party to help launch my friends new career. It Was A Fabulous Time!! :-)))
• Got ahead financially and was able to give the girls a grand Christmas.!! :-))
• I turned 35 on the day the earth was supposed to end....Thankfully the Mayans were wrong! :-)
• The Crud that was going around the schools decided to show it's ugly face in our house. One Person At A Time!!! :-(
• Despite the crud infecting us we managed to have a sick free & joyful Christmas morning & day :-))
• New Years Eve was spent Celebrating a 65th wedding anniversary and later we rang in the new year with some wonderful friends. Love You Muffin!! :-))

So that's my year in review. There's more stuff that probably should have been added and I'm sure there was stuff I might should have left out.. Oh well, it's me and by now you should be used to the way I do things. Like I said it was a sad and heartbreaking year, yet it wasn't all bad. I know I haven't posted much this year, and that's one of the sad parts, but believe me I haven't given up blogging yet!

Until next time

Kisses

CoreyJo

12 days past due!!

I can't believe I missed 12 days of what I'm thankful for! HOLY WOW! My only excuse is that sometimes I get in a funk. Depressions peeks it's ugly head in the door and says, "Hello my dear..."  It grips me tight sometimes and doesn't want to let go. Then something will happen that will snap me out of my funk. Shoving depression back through the door and slamming it shut once again. Sometimes it's something big and sometimes it's something small. This time it was something that I consider to be both. The sound of my kids laughter tinkling in the air is such a small simple thing, yet for me it's enormous. When you no longer have the ability to hear one of your children's laughter because they are gone forever the impact of your remaining children's laughter, or that of any child, becomes enormous. What most people take for granted each day I crave with an un-measurable passion. To hear my girls laughter, be it a bubbly giggle or belly rolling laughter, is a blessing I will forever cherish and strive to hear as much as possible. The right now is the only guarantee we have in life. You must grab it, enjoy it and cherish it while you can for we never know what tomorrow may bring us...

Today I'm thankful I get the joy of hearing my girls laugh. In such a short life they've lived there has been so much tragedy. Enough that some kids wouldn't be able to cope. Lucky for us our girls have survived the loss of their baby sister and their Grandfather, all within the last three years, with surprising ease. The fact that they are able to live life carefree and still laugh with and at each other and the world is a miracle on it's own. A miracle that I am thankful for. Life is hard, so hard most of the time. But if you stop and enjoy the good things about life, big or small, it doesn't seem so bad.

Now, since I am SO far behind on my daily thanks here are 11 things I've been thankful for in the past week and half...

1. Crock-pots... without one I would never be able to make pot roast...YUM!
2. DVR.... other wise I would never see any television... it's impossible to watch with 2 kids, 2 cats & a dog running around. With DVR I can wait until night when all is quiet and simply enjoy.
3. Flushing toilets... I know, TMI! But still, imagine life without it! now if I could just train the cats...
4. Washers & Dryers...I would never get to sleep if I had to wash laundry by hand.... that or everyone would wear the same damn thing all week!! (no jokes-- keep your pot shots to yourself. lol)
5. Coffee pots with timers.... Just set it up the night before and BAM! Caffeine when you wake up!
6. My kids memory... Sometimes I wish that my kids didn't have such a good memory... they always manage to trip me up with the truth... other times though, I'd not make it through the day if I didn't have them to remind me of stuff.
7. Unexpected company..... It was wonderful to have my Muffin come and keep me company while I was getting my hair done this past week. Muffin always makes me smile & laugh.. Thank you! ♥
8. My dog.... the moments we spend each morning, just the two of us, outside tossing & retrieving rocks in the driveway... He's always so eager to play and I swear I can see him smile while he waits for me to throw the next rock.
9. My cats.... not once in the last year since I adopted my cats have I had a mouse! I LOVE YOU!
10. Firemen... not only do they do a service to the community by saving lives at the risk of their own life, but help to support many communities through charities. Don't believe me?? Check out this charity

Quebec Firefighters Foundation
 for Major Burn Victims

     11. Receiving mail...usually receiving mail isn't so pleasant due to the amount of bills
           and/or junk mail we receive each day. However today I received a package from a very
           special friend. This package included not only the firemen's calendar you can buy from the
           aforementioned charity, but it included the cutest card ever!! I may have to frame it. Along
           with the card was a wonderful handwritten letter from my friend. It was the most wonderful
           thing evah!! It totally made my day and I still can't stop smiling! Thank you Jon-Jon ♥



So there, I'm all caught up on my daily thankfulness.. I hope I didn't bore you too much. I promise to try to keep up with the daily posts. Wish me luck! LOL

Kisses
CoreyJo

Oops! I missed a day!!

I missed a day in giving thanks so today there's two!

Day 7: I'm thankful for internet banking.
     I don't know what I'd do if I had to wait until the next month to get a statement so I could balance my accounts. How did Mom do it!? I suppose that if we didn't have atm's and bank cards to use it wouldn't be so hard. But since we do I don't think I would survive with out the the internet to constantly check my account!

Day 8: I'm thankful for smart well behaved kids.
     I'm so happy that my kids are smart. It makes parent teacher conferences so much easier. All A's and a couple of B's between the two girls. I asked Lily's teachers if there were any concerns and they all said "No, she's an absolute delight to have in class".  I'm just so grateful that my kids are smart and well behaved. I don't know what I'd do if they were hellions at home AND at school. I will gladly take their attitudes and shenanigans at home as long as they do well in school. So proud of you my Monkeys!!!

What are you thankful for today?

Kisses
CoreyJo

Daily Thanks...

Since today is the second day in November I'm post two things I'm thankful for, one for yesterday and one for today.

Day 1: I'm thankful for good car insurance.
     Two Sundays ago, on Maggie's birthday, we were on our way home from dinner out to celebrate her birthday and I hit a deer. Those of you who live in the area know of a little stretch of M43 called the Glendale Flats.... Yup!! I'm yet another victim of the Glendale Flats deer vs. auto jousting matches. However  we, the family & my car, did fare much better than the gigantic doe I T-Boned...  Finally I get to pick my car up from the body shop later today! Yay!!

Day 2: I'm thankful for amazing friends.
     One of my closest online friends, and closest friends to my heart, Rafa, wrote me a poem. He writes all the time. Things that are funny, silly and often a bit naughty. Sometimes he writes something that touches my Soul and stays there. This is one of those times. Not only does he write things, he creates beautiful pieces of art also. Sometimes from scratch, sometimes from altering & combining images. Every year about the time of Maggie Alice's birthday (10/21) and the anniversary of her death (10/30) he creates something special for me in honor or memory of her. This year my gift is a little bit different than previous years. It's more about the feelings of those of us left behind than it is of the one who has past. It's very soulful and touching. I don't know how he does it but yet again he has managed to capture all of my feelings and translate them into something magical and combine them with an image that is as beautiful as He and my Maggie Alice are.

Undaunting Grief

It's beautiful, it's soulful, and I love it. I can't thank you enough for always being there just when I need you whether I know I need you or not. You, Rafa, are and amazing friend. You will always have a special place in my heart. I am thankful that you are my friend. Love you & don't forget to SMILE!

Kisses
CoreyJo

p.s. to read more of Rafa's writing and see more of his amazing artwork follow this link to his blog, Ramblings From My Typer.

Haiku Hurricane...

I know I'm late for the actual contest, but I just had to post it anyways. I hope you enjoy it.

From out of no where,

A force to be reckoned with.

That was Margaret.

                                                                                  ~CoreyJo

Margaret, aka Maggie Alice, came into this world with a bang. A BIG bang. At the end of a normal pregnancy she was taken from my body during an emergency cesarean. I was having the normal monitors strapped on for child birth and ten minutes later I was knocked out cold. I didn't even get to tell the Sailor I loved him. The last thing I remember is the scalpel touching my lower abdomen and hearing the doctor lady say, "Tell me when, tell me when, tell me wh....". Then I was waking up in the O.R. waiting for ex-rays, to make sure nothing was left inside upon closing me up. This all happened at 8pm on a Sunday night.

During the night the medical staff realized something was wrong with Margaret. Her heart rate was only 49 b/min when it should have been closer to 110-120 b/min. Being in a small town they took EKG's and other readings of hers and sent them to the neighboring town which has a heart center. They called back and said it was too much for them and they were sending the readings to Helen DeVos Children's Hospital (an hour away). They called our doctor and said they would be there in 2 hours to get her and transfer her to their facility. They were here and gone in less than 3 hours with the Sailor in hot pursuit behind their ambulance, leaving me behind with my sister to check out and follow. Approximately 18 hours after a cesarean I stood up and walked out (more like hunched over and hobbled, but you get the point) of the hospital on my way to my baby. 

It turns out that Margaret had what was called Long QT syndrome. Basically the bottom of the heart, after squeezing closed, takes too long to open back up for the next heart beat therefore throwing off the rhythm of the heart. This is why Margaret's heart rate was so low. Her condition was the worst the world had ever seen and also was present in the youngest person on record (at the time). Is this curable? No. Is it manageable? Yes.

At Three days old Margaret had a pacemaker installed. Combined with a two heart medications, the pacemaker allowed Margaret to live a normal life only restricting her from physical contact sports. At 23 days old, after a few medical setbacks common with surgeries on newborns,  she was finally released from the hospital to come home. Once at home our lives settled into a normal family routine, only differing in that we had to give Margaret medicine every 8 hours. Life was good again. We had our baby and everyone was in love with her.

At 8 months old Margaret had a seizure which landed her back at DeVos for another surgery. This time to replace the pacemaker with a combination pacemaker/ICD. (which she was too small for at birth). After only 4 days this time we were able to bring Margaret home again. 

Life went on as normal as possible. Margaret was an outgoing busy body of a baby. Very independent and loving. Always causing mischief with her older sisters and truly believing that she was the queen of the house and ruled all that she could see, and all those she knew. She didn't understand that she was supposed to avoid physical impact and in turn was the most daring baby I knew. She would climb anything and jump from anywhere just to have fun. Instead of keeping up with the older girls they were having to keep up with her, constantly saving her from impact with one thing or another, usually the floor.

Margaret was the happiest baby ever. She always cooperated with the doctors and the many tests they preformed on a regular basis .Complaining about nothing outside of getting her way and wanting more food. 

Just like a true hurricane, Margaret came into our lives with such force and abandonment, rocking us all with her amazing self and bowling us over in her take no prisoners attitude, only to leave us just as quickly as she came.

Nine days after Margaret's second birthday her heart decided it had had enough and for whatever reason her ICD did not detect that she wasn't responding to her pacemaker. Again, just like a true hurricane Margaret left us quickly and in her wake she left irreparable destruction & devastation. Leaving us with memories that will last us all for more than a lifetime.

Two and a half years later the memory of her still lives vividly in my heart and my mind. The pain is still there and the love is too. Just like a hurricane she will be forever in our memories, not just the pain and destruction but also the beauty & sheer magnitude that was Margaret.

I didn't really want to write all this much but a friend told me I "MUST write the background story...it's part of YOUR healing." I took his advice and tried to keep it short and to the point. As you can tell I wasn't exactly successful at that. Oh well, to leave a part out of Margaret's story would be like not broadcasting the actual storm, and only reporting that it was coming and this is what it left behind.  I hope I didn't depress anyone (sorry Terri for another tear jerker). My intent was only to show how Margaret was like a hurricane in my life. I'm also sorry that I missed the deadline for the contest, but in my defense I have been swamped with this remodeling of our house and just lost track of which day it was. Oh well, such is life.

If you'd like to see those who DID make the dead line you can just follow this link to Karl's Korner and  check out everyone else's entry(ies). Good luck to all of you not late for the party, and thanks to everyone for making it this far in my post.

Love ♥ Huggs

CoreyJo

*** the photograph by Martin Kucera has been altered by me.

More Birthdays & Easter

Since the girls birthdays are only 2 weeks apart we will celebrate privately each one's birthday on the day of, and then together usually the weekend between. Due to circumstances this year (their grand dad dying) we waited to do the duel party until late April. It wasn't a big affair this year but it was fun and it was very loud!!

For Easter we went to a local establishment for a special Easter Buffet. The food is simple yet out of this world delicious. But only after the girls found all of the Easter eggs that were hidden around the house.

Love ♥ Huggs

CoreyJo

Birthday Girl #2

I bet you thought I forgot about Lily's birthday post. I didn't forget about I just ended up on another blogging hiatus. Sorry, it happens. So without further ado here's some photos from Lily's birthday.

Dark Chocolate Fudge cupcakes with Caramel frosting

Eleven years old!! I can't believe I have a daughter that is 11. They sure do grow up fast. One day they are cuddling up on your lap for a bed time story and then you blink and they are slamming the door in your face crying about needing space and time alone.... Good bye Mommy being the hero... Hello Mother the evil.

Happy belated Birthday Lily. I love you. Even when you think you hate me I will still love you.

Love ♥ Huggs

Mommy

Birthday Girl #1...

 I figured I had better get Kiera's birthday post out before Lily's birthday gets here. So with out further ado...

♫♪♫ HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIERA ♫♪♫

It's a special day when a little girl turns seven. Why? you ask. Hell I don't know, but it's her birthday. Since her birthday falls on St. Patrick's Day we always try to make the day about her and not the Irish holiday (that comes later in the evening). This year is the last year we will be celebrating the girls birthday parties on the same day. Due to circumstances and work schedules the party won't be until later in April.  However we have always made sure to celebrate each birthday individually too. We always have cake, pie, or some sort of dessert with dinner and give them at least one present. The other presents come the day of their party. Anyways, here are the delicious cup cakes I made and Kieras happy face.

Butter Yellow Cake with Dark Chocolate Fudge Frosting

A 3D birthday card. Enough to cross your eyes, but she loved it.

A new night gown for the warmer season. Big hit!!

So pretty..

You'd think we gave her the world...and that's why I love her.

I was too busy taking pictures to know what, but something was obviously funny...

Thank you to the other Canning household for helping to celebrate Kiera's birthday.  

Love ♥ Huggs

CoreyJo

Bitter Sweet...

**TISSUE ALERT**

St. Patrick's Day for us this year was bitter sweet. It was sweet because it was Kiera's 7th birthday and we're Irish, well the Sailor and the midgets are at least, therefore I am too by association. Everyone had fun and the day was wonderful. I'll do a post about the celebrations later this week.

It was also bitter. After we tucked the girls in for the night the Sailor and I sat out back around the fire pit just chit chatting about this and that. It was a little after 11pm I do believe when we received the phone call. It was from the Sailors step sister. She called to inform us that at about 10:30 pm the Sailors father had passed away quietly at home.

Jason has been off from work for almost a month now spending time with his father and helping out around his house. Fixing things, running errands, just visiting, and eventually helping take care of his father when he was no longer able to take care of himself and sitting vigil.  From the moment his father was diagnosed terminal with cancer (before that if you want the truth) everyone, including his father, always joked about how he was so Irish that since he wasn't born on St. Patrick's Day he would die on it. Well the old man pumped blood & sucked air (←his words) with everything he had, holding out until then. Like I said before, he died quietly at home in his own bed just as naked and free as he was the day he was born.

There wasn't an overly emotional display of feelings like there was when Maggie Alice passed. It's been quiet and pretty calm. Mainly I believe because while an early death was always known to be a possibility (always is with heart issues, especially one as severe as hers), Maggie's death was quite sudden. Where as with Jason's father everyone had months to come to terms with the fact that this IS going to happen and there isn't a damn thing anyone can do about it.

Towards the end it became a sit and wait situation with prayers that he would peacefully slip away and no longer be in pain. I believe there was big sigh of relief from those of us he left behind because we were now glad he was no longer suffering and was in a better place. I also think there was big sigh from those he was on his way to meet because trouble was coming home. :)

As his loving wife said :  "[the Sailor Sr.] has changed ports. He has left the port of South Haven to drop anchor in Heaven. At least, that is where I hope he ends up. With a 7th fleet sailor, I'm not always sure."

You will be missed and you will always be loved.

I love you Dad

Love ♥ Huggs
CoreyJo

Haiku...

Promised Land:

Ending quickly a

Life full of grand memories.

See you in Heaven.

                  

                                                                     ~CoreyJo

I Love you Robb...

The contest this week is being hosted by Karl at Karl's Korner. Be sure to stop by and see the competition.

Love ♥ Huggs

CoreyJo

Texas..

As usual I'm extremely late at posting about something. My friend Daisy has officially informed (chastised) me that I neglect Monkeys & Windex. She is right 100%, and for that I apologize. If I also want to avoid further chastisement, this time from Rafa, for posting about holidays/events in the wrong month I had better get on the ball. I also wouldn't want Muffin to have to resort to chemistry homework with her morning coffee due to my negligence.

I'm sure all of you at some point in your life have experienced the winter blues. Even if you now live in Southern California (not mention names, Darling) I'm sure you remember what winters were like in the Midwest. I do believe that is what has happened to me. As the winter continues on and the days drag into one another I begin to lose all sense of time. The time of day, the day of the week, the next thing I know almost a month has went by without me posting on my blog or even visiting the blogs on my blog list.  Then I went to Texas for a week. Which brings me to the post.

For a week at the end of January I went to Texas to see my longtime friend Rose (aka Daisy from A Daily Dose of Daisy). The first night there we played board games and had fun hanging out with her boyfriend JP, and two of her friends.

from left to right
Selena, Rose, She who shall not be named, & Yours truly

For the next couple of days it was just us girls and trip to the beach!

Since I was the least hung over from the night
before I opted to drive to North Padre Island.

It was little grey and windy at the beach. I can't complain though, it was 70° out still. Selena learned to fly a kite for the first time and we found lots of shells in the wash.

Selena's thinking of making a career change...

Honestly we weren't plotting against Selena...maybe

When night came we still didn't want to go inside so we built a fire and lazed around making s'mores.

Thanks to a couple retiring for the night we
didn't have to try to start the fire
in all that wind.

Finally we had to return to the city to pick up JP at the airport. We decided to make his homecoming extra special with some fancy signs made by the the crafty Selena.

♥ We Missed you ♥

For the next couple of days we shopped, lounged around, and ate lots and lots of delicious tacos for all different places. We even had cupcakes for dinner one night. 

Purple cupcakes with an Oreo base & chocolate frosting!
Rose makes amazing cupcakes (she's a great cook too).

We went to eat at Puffy Tacos. OMG!! It's a must have if you're ever in the area, as is Bill Miller, Rudy's BBQ, and Taco Cabana.

This was just outside the front door.

After we stuffed ourselves we went to the downtown area by the Alamo. No I didn't get any photos of the Alamo, but then again who hasn't seen it before anyways. (code for I didn't think about photos for the blog and I'm too lazy to look up a photo now). We went to a haunted house. Yes I mentioned that I don't do haunted houses, I don't think they heard me though.

I may look all relaxed but that place was scary as Hell!!

We also visited the Guinness World Record Museum, and went on a 3D Tomb Raider Ride.

Aren't we a purty bunch with our 3D glasses?

On my last day day there we went to a local sports bar and had some delicious food & drinks and played darts until it was time for me to go to the airport.

Rose & I enjoying our last hours together.
Love you Rosie!!

Just as my plane was taking off for home the sun was setting.

 Please forgive the quality of the photo.
Not only was I using my old phone
to take the photo, I had the most
scratched up window I have
ever seen on a plane.

The flight was quick & uneventful. The Sailor met me with a beautiful smile and a delicious kiss. It was another 2 hours or so before we reached home. Since the girls were spending the night with their cousin & aunt the Sailor & I had a very "nice" home coming... a week is a long time to be away from the one you love.

Well I hope you liked the shortened version of my trip to Texas. I'd share more but like Vegas, 'What happens in Texas stays in Texas!!'  LOL!

Next post I'll show you what the girls made for me while I was gone. :) Thanks for stopping by. I hope everyone has a wonderful Wednesday.

Love ♥ Huggs
CoreyJo

Catching up...

WOW! I hadn't realized that it had been so long since I last blogged. I guess I've got a lot to catch you guys up on.  Lets not make this too painfully long okay.

Starting with My birthday:  The girls bought me both Adele cd's and flowers. Jason bought me a really nice watch, and my sister, Valisatie, made me a cross stitch.

(bracelet made by Lily, given to Kiera, who then gave it to me)

I'm proud to admit it's 100% true!!

Next is Christmas: Everyone got pretty much everything on their list and then some. All were happy and that's a hard thing to do!

Every year the Sailor and I get each other a gag gift. This year his was a used bowling pin for target practice.

New Years was a great time spent at a friends house with friends and family. We had a green Christmas this year, but rest assure there was plenty of snow to go around afterwards.

Most of December and January was spent inside enjoying the new books and video games. Mostly it was just me and the animals as usual. Although uneventful I did receive some very nice flowers from the Sailor.

All of last week was spent in Texas visiting a friend of mine. I came home to a clean happy household. Sometimes you just need to get away, even if it's only for the day. I was lucky enough to get a whole 7 days to detox from the madness that is better known as life. No worries, stress, or responsibilities outside myself for a whole week. It was bliss, not to mention WARM!! Even though it was much needed, this detox period, I greatly missed my family & pets after only one day, and I'm glad to be home.

Since this post has been so long I'll save my trip to Texas for another day and I'll also make a separate post for the cupcakes :)  Thanks for sticking with me this long. I'll catch ya on the flip side!!

Love ♥ Huggs
CoreyJo