"It had been nice to be so sure of myself. Now that I didn't have that compass anymore, I'd never felt so lost."

Truer words have never been written...

Change:

Verb (used without object);

1.    To become different.

2.    To become altered or modified.

3.    To become transformed or converted.

Noun;

4.    The act or fact of changing; fact of being changed.

5.    A variation or deviation.

Change. Life changes. People change. Circumstances change. Moods change. Ways of thinking change…..

So many things about life change, it’s inevitable. Most of the time we are not aware of the changes that occur in our day to day lives. Kids grow up, we get grey hairs (yes, these two things go hand in hand). The foods we like to eat, the activities we participate in. The way we do things changes with time, whether it’s from gaining knowledge or from just us changing as we grow physically and emotionally.

Without change life would become stagnate. Change in general is not always a bad thing. It can bring wonderful things with it. Joy and happiness come with change. As do pain and sadness sometimes.

Even though things and life around us are constantly changing we as humans tend to become secure in our lives. We do our daily tasks because that’s what needs to be done. We go to work or stay home and care for our families because that’s our roll in life. We go out with friends, take family vacations because that’s what we do for fun. Most of us in the world today live our lives from day to day and take comfort in our futures of our lives. Sure, we know the kids will grow up and leave the nest someday, but it’s not always on our minds. We know that we will eventually grow old and possibly feeble. We know that someday we will have to retire or change our careers to better fit our physical selves. It’s called life. It’s just how it is.

We take life’s changes with a grain of salt most of the time. Sometimes life’s changes are less like a grain of salt and more like an iceberg. You can’t just brush it off and move on. You can’t just pick yourself up and say, “Oh well.”, and then move on with the changes. Sometimes the changes that happen in your life sideline you. You’re so lost with what has happened in your life that you just don’t know where to go, what to do, let alone what to say. You don’t have that security in your future because you don’t know or understand how the future can possibly be in any way how you had always imagined it to be.

When life hits you with these iceberg sized changes that hurt you to the point of numbness you turn to your loved ones to help you through. To pick you up and point you in the right direction. Sometimes you don’t have that. You don’t have the support you thought you would have. You feel alone like you’ve never felt alone before. You’re scared because you just don’t know what to do.

When this happens, we must remember that there is always someone out there who can help us. Who can support us and help us to think straight again. Who will be our friend and tell us it’s okay to hurt, even if it feels like we are dying. Society, as a whole, are a lonely bunch of people and we need to remember that we are only alone if we allow ourselves to be alone.

Back to change. Everyone who knows me knows that I have had life hit me with a huge change that blessed me and devastated me. When I lost my daughter at the age of 2 I didn’t know how my life could go on (that’s the devastation part). When I began to heal from the loss of my daughter I began to realize how blessed I was. In the two years she was alive she was our family’s shining star. Once she was gone and the devastation of her loss began to move the background of my emotions (I say this because the devastation is always there, I have just learned how to move forward and function at life again) I realized how in those two short years I learned so much from my daughter. I learned what was important in life. I learned not to sweat the small stuff. I learned how to love unconditionally in a way I hadn’t quite grasped consciously with the first two daughters. I learned how to forgive and to move forward.

It took a while for our lives, as a family, to balance back out. I was able to live again. This horrible change in my life did not stop me permanently. I was able to overcome the grief and live again. I took this change and tried to learn from it. I tried to become a better person. Not only to others but to myself. As time went on I became secure in my life and my future again…..

Change. It’s something that is inevitable. It always happens. Again, I have been hit with a change in my life that has altered my future. A change that has floored me yet again. As I begin to process this change I have come to a few conclusions. I am not alone. I might feel extremely lonely at times, but I know I am not alone. I have my Peeps, and I must tell you, my Peeps are some of the best Peeps a woman could have. Another conclusion I have come to is that no matter how uncertain and scary my future may look right now, I know without a doubt that I will survive. Not only will I survive, I will thrive. With this change in my life I must believe in ME. If I don’t, there is no hope for a happy future. I must not doubt my self-worth. I may not always like myself, physically and or emotionally, but I know deep down that I am worth it. I deserve the best. I have given my everything to the life that I have led. Have I been perfect, no. I am only human. I must believe that this change in my life has happened for a reason. It may be a reason that I don’t quite understand yet, but a reason none the less.

Change happens, and we are powerless to stop it. However, we do have the power to move forward from change in any way we wish to. I am choosing to move forward in a positive way. I am choosing to use this change to grow as a woman. Instead of letting this change dictate the person I become afterward I am dictating how and who I am going to be after this change.

Change. Good or bad we can’t control it sometimes, but we can control how it changes us. Just remember that you always have peeps out there who love you and care about you. If you don’t think you have any peeps, just let me know. I’ll be your peep.

-Corey Canning

Did you know?

Residents of Hawaii outlive residents of all other states. Louisianans are the most prone in the United States to die an early death.

I'm thinking it may have something to do with alligators.... just saying.

Halloween camping shenanigans!! #lovethesegirls

So proud of my Kiera today. She completed her first 5K color run. In her words,  #awesome

YES!!

"Breathless, my head ringing, I could only gape. I'm not going to say it was love at first sight. No, it was more like oh, hell-yes-please, I'll have that. With a helping of right-the-fuck-now on the side."

Excerpt From: Callihan, Kristen. "The Hook Up." 

Fuck you wild turkey... Fuck you

How Rude....!

Rude:

1. discourteous or impolite, especially in a deliberate way: a rude reply.

2. without culture, learning, or refinement: rude, illiterate peasants.

3. rough in manners or behavior; unmannerly; uncouth.

4. rough, harsh, or ungentle: rude hands.

5. roughly wrought, built, or formed; of a crude construction or kind: a rude cottage.

6. not properly or fully developed; raw; unevolved: a rude first stage of development.

7. harsh to the ear: rude sounds.

8. without artistic elegance; of a primitive simplicity: a rude design.

9. violent or tempestuous, as the waves.

10.robust, sturdy, or vigorous: rude strength.

11. approximate or tentative: a rude first calculation of costs.

     I might be many things, but rude is not one of them. At least I try my best to never be rude. It happens once and a while, hell, I’m only human. If I am rude I apologize as soon as I realize it. I feel bad about it and I worry that the person I was rude to (or anyone within hearing distance) will think me a horrid person. Who want’s that?  For the most part I don’t really care what people think of me. I am who I am. However I don’t want people to think I have no manners or any kind of class about me. I may not be high class but I do have some class, at least enough not to be rude to someone.

     Sometimes people perceive rudeness when rudeness wasn’t really present. Texting and social media are full of miscommunications when dealing with emotions. Why? It’s because emotion does not always transmit through the written word. While reading a book the scene is set, the mood of the moment has been set, therefore a small line of dialog does transmit emotion. However, when texting or commenting on a social media status the emotion your feeling as you comment does not always transmit properly. Usually it’s the person reading it that determines the emotion, or tone of the comment.  If the person is not in a good mood the emotion, or tone, of the comment is generally not very good. If they are in a good mindset the tone tends to be of a better, nicer, quality.  It’s just basic psychology of the mind and how everyone sees the same things differently.

     Usually when someone writes something on a social media post of mine that seems a bit rude to me, I try to think of who said it. I try to think of this persons personality and try imagine how the comment would have sounded had it been said aloud to me face to face. Most of the time it helps me to realize it was just poor wording that need that little bit human emotion, or tone, to make it not sound rude. Having said that, sometimes there are comments that no matter how you imagine them, or who you imagine saying them, they are a rude comment.  Sometimes a comment is just plain and simply rude. It doesn’t matter how you say it, or write it, it’s RUDE.

     Normally, someone being rude to me doesn’t bother me much.  In my mind I’m all, “HOW RUDE!”, and then I let it go. It happens. People err, we are after all only human.  I don’t call them out on the rude comment because then I’m just being rude myself. I don’t want that!!  Sometimes the rude comment, the one that can’t be anything but rude, hurts. Sometimes the person it comes from is what makes it hurt just that little bit more.

     I’ve had a lot of rude things said to me over the years and only a couple of them have stuck with me. Mostly because who made the comment. Until recently, it’s been quite a while since one of those comments stuck with me. This comment wasn’t anything serious, or even important, really. It was just rude. Taking into consideration the person who made the comment is probably what makes it bother me so much. They generally aren’t a rude person, but it's not the first time they've been rude to me over the years.  For them to just be blatantly rude to me kind of bothers me. Who am I kidding? It bothers the crap out of me. It’s not the first time I’ve felt slighted by this person, and because of who they are I’ve always just let it go and moved on.  This time I don’t think I can let it go. It’s not the rude comment I can’t let go of. It’s the fact that it probably won’t be the last time it happens with this person. 

     In my post about burning bridges, I mentioned how sometimes we have to take a path we don’t want to, but we know we need to. I think I’m at one of those moments. Not a burning of the bridge moment, more of a fork in the road moment. I can go back and take the other fork if I so choose to.  Small rude comments or slights against me add up with time when it’s from the same person. I don’t like feeling this hurt, small as it is. I’m not going to go out of my way for this person anymore. I’m not cutting them out of my life. Rude comments and feeling slighted by this person multiple times aside, I still love them and wish them well.  I just can’t justify making time for them anymore. If I see them, I see them. If I don’t, I don’t. I’m setting them on the outside of my happiness bubble.

     Moral of the story people, don’t be rude. It’s not nice, and if repeatedly done it makes you look bad. Think before you speak, and especially before you hit the post button. Read what you wrote and ask yourself how you would take it if you were the recipient of this comment.

Okay, rant over. Thank you for sticking with me if you read this all the way through.

XOXO
CoreyJo